Holding On
by AddsTheWriter
Summary: Derek lost Emily once and he won't let it happen again, not when he isn't the only one who really needs her. The team will help both of them hold on to what they had and what they will hopefully have.
1. Chapter 1

_*** Another Criminal Minds story (and another story to work on along with many others). But I have recently rewatched the Lauren Reynolds/Ian Doyle arch in the sixth season and I couldn't help but notice the way Derek reacts to Emily being in danger and the last scene in Lauren between them inspired me to write a little Demily story. I don't know how long this will be or really where exactly it will go, but I'm just going to let it flow. Read this first chapter and let me know if it's worth continuing! ***_

 _ **(The italics indicate a flashback. I plan on using those throughout the story.)**_

"No! No!" Derek Morgan screamed.

The gunshot rang out and echoed through the entire bullpen. Morgan's heart raced and his feet were moving faster than he thought he could move them. With each second that passed he knew that she was suffering.

He crashed through the door and he was sure that for a second time stood still as he took in the graphic picture of violence that Emily's office had become.

The other man that laid on the ground of Emily's office didn't even get a second of attention from Derek. He deserved what had happened to him. The blood pooling around his upper body from the gunshot wound in his chest.

"Emily! Emily!" He dropped to his knees next to where she laid on the floor. The blood on the floor surrounding her soaked through his pants and the cold, wet feeling against his skin sent a shiver down his spine.

"De… De…" She tried to say his name, but her breaths were uneven and the

syllables were almost not audible.

"No, baby girl. You don't have to talk to me, okay. I just need you to stay with me. Just stay with me, Em."

"Ba… bab…" She tried again, but her voice was even quieter and her eyes were barely open anymore. Derek could see just the smallest bit of her dark brown eyes that usually were the first thing you noticed about her. Her eyes said everything and now all they were saying was that she wouldn't make it much longer.

"Where the hell are the paramedics?!" Derek yelled out the open door at anyone who was listening. "Emily please stay with, please."

"The… ba…" Her eyes shut completely.

"Don't Em. Don't do this. Just open those eyes of yours, just open them."

He took her hand in his and gripped it tightly. He felt the smallest movement of hers tightening around his and he knew she was in there, he knew she was going to fight, he knew she wasn't giving up on either of them yet.

"Sir you have to move."

Derek looked up to see the paramedics standing over him with the gurney. "I'm not leaving her."

"We can't do anything for her if you're in our way."

"I'm not leaving her!" Derek shouted.

"Morgan!" Hotch now stood next to him. "Let them do their job."

Derek gave Emily's hand one last squeeze and scooted back, allowing the two paramedics to come to either side of her. They started to work quickly, but all that they were saying was a blur in Derek's mind as he watched her and only her.

"Derek." Hotch put a hand on his shoulder.

"How the hell did this happen? How the fuck did this asshole end up in the FBI?"

"Derek." Hotch tried again.

"No, do not _Derek_ me. How the hell could they let this happen?"

"Look you can be as pissed as you want to be, but right now Emily needs to be your worry. We will work this and you will go to the hospital."

"But…" Derek didn't know what to say. He was torn, he wanted to be with Emily more than anything, but he couldn't stop himself from wanting to get to the bottom of how some psychopath got into the bureau and got to Emily.

"Go be with Emily." It was a command from Hotch, not a suggestion.

Derek walked out of the office in a trance. There were people running everywhere, each one was in a hurry to do what they could for their fellow agent, although the haste now seemed a little late.

"Morgan." It was JJ who stopped him from walking into one of the desks. She knew how hard this was for him, for their whole team.

"I have to… Emily." He was talking to the blonde, but he wasn't looking at her.

"I know, I know." JJ assured him. "Let me drive you."

Derek agreed without even a thought. He followed JJ through a haze. Before he was even aware that they had left, he realized they were halfway to the hospital as JJ drove at least fifteen miles an hour over the speed limit. They both faced forward, eyes on the road.

"Emily, Emily Prentiss. Where is she?" Derek begged for answers from a nurse, not caring what she knew or if she was even involved with Emily's case.

"Derek." JJ pulled him back, away from the nurse. "You need to calm down, okay? This isn't going to help right now."

"Me not being able to find Emily isn't going to be able to help either JJ."

"We will find her. I will go find out where she is. I need you to just stay calm and wait for me. You're too irritable right now to do all of this."

Derek huffed, but let JJ work. She went up to the nurses' station and he could see her talking, not taking no for an answer. When she returned, she didn't say anything put just led Morgan to the nearest elevator and up to the third floor. They found the waiting room, which was completely empty.

"What are we doing in an empty waiting room?" Derek asked, as JJ sat down.

"All the nurse could find out for me was that she is still in surgery, but she knew that she would be brought up to the ICU when she was out. She put a note in her chart to say that we were here so the doctor can find us."

"The ICU?" Derek tried to swallow the words.

JJ nodded.

"Why are we here? Why did this have to happen?"

"I wish I knew." JJ wanted to have a better answer for him.

"It's not fair." Morgan fell into one of the seat across from JJ. "We lost her once. I can't lose her again."

"Don't do that to yourself Morgan. The last time you lost her was for her own good, for our own good. She wouldn't be here now if we hadn't lost her then. And we won't lose her now."

"How do you know?"

"Because it's Emily and because this isn't just about her. She knows how much she is needed. She will make it through this."

"I don't know Jayje." Derek let his head fall into his hands.

 _"When you left, did any of you think about what it meant for the rest of the team?"_

 _Derek and Emily had been eating dinner at one of the homes that Derek had been working on. He was days away from putting it on the market, but he had insisted that he wanted her opinion on it before doing so and he wanted to make her dinner, show her what he was capable of doing with his hands._

 _"Really? Is that why you brought me here?" Emily set down her glass of wine and crossed her arms in front of her chest, like she was protecting herself from Morgan's questions._

 _"No, but every time I see you now that you're back, I keep thinking about that time and I never really asked you. I mean I asked, but I didn't really get an answer."_

 _"And you want an answer." Emily uncrossed her arms._

 _"I just don't want secrets. I get it. I get that you had to do what was best for you and for Declan and for the rest of the team. But you couldn't have just left. I know you, Em. I know that you wouldn't just walk out on us."_

 _"Of course I wouldn't." She sighed. "I cried for days in that empty hospital room alone after you all thought I was gone. I thought that nothing would ever be the same and that I had lost the only people who would ever be like family to me. I knew it would tear you apart, but I knew that me actually dying would be worse."_

 _"I don't know what I would have done if you never came back."_

 _"Well you wouldn't have anyone to be eating dinner with right now." She smirked._

 _Derek smiled back at her, leaning over the kitchen island from his stool. Emily met him in the middle. Their lips met and that kiss was the first of many that would be happening that night._

"I can't just sit here. I can't just wait for someone to come tell me the bad news." Derek had been quiet for the past hour as he waited with JJ, but he was drowning in the silence. Drowning in all the horrific thoughts that were running through his head.

"Derek."

"No. I just need to know something anything."

"You must be here for Ms. Prentiss." A woman in scrubs seemed to show up out of nowhere, standing in front of Derek and JJ and interrupting their conversation.

"What do you know? How is she?" Morgan jumped up from his chair and began his third degree of the doctor.

"She's still in surgery."

Derek's heart sunk at the statement. For the split second before his questions were answered, he thought that maybe this doctor would have something good to say, have something to tell him that would give him hope that he wouldn't lose Emily. And now he dreaded what else was going to be said.

"It's been rather touch and go since she was brought in and the doctor's still have a lot of work to do before she'll be stable enough to move into a room for the night."

"Is that all you can tell us?" Asked JJ.

"Right now, that's what I know. I'm not actually on Ms. Prentiss's case exactly."

"What do you mean? If you aren't on her case, then why are you giving us the update?" Morgan pressed the doctor for more answers.

"Because I knew that some kind of news was better than no news." The doctor told him. "What I need from you is to know who I should be talking to about the baby?"

"Me, me." Derek stuttered. "That's… I'm the baby's father."

"Okay. Would you like to talk somewhere more private?"

Derek looked to JJ. "No, whatever you need to say to me you can say to us both."

"Well then, I will be with the baby, more than likely, until they are discharged."

"Wait so the baby… the baby is…"

"We had to deliver the baby. When Ms. Prentiss came in she was showing signs of preterm labor and the baby was in destress due to the trauma she suffered. We tried to wait and I was hoping that we wouldn't have to deliver the baby so early, but by the time she was on the table, she was having contractions every five minutes. We did an emergency c-section that went as well as we could hope for in this kind of situation."

"Please tell me the baby is okay."

"The baby is doing very well for what happened. They are having trouble breathing on their own which is expected when they're eight weeks earlier. We also noticed a little something irregular in the heartbeat which can be something that will resolve itself or we may have to take further action, but it will take a little time before we make any further decisions. Other than that, it seems as if the baby is just as much a fighter as mom is."

"Where are they?"

"The baby was just taken up to the NICU about fifteen minutes ago."

"Can I see… Am I allowed up there?"

"Of course you are. Would you like to come up with me?"

Morgan looked to JJ, but she just gave him a small nod. "Go Derek. They need you."

"You'll stay in case someone comes?" Derek knew the answer.

"I'm not going anywhere." The blonde promised.

Derek followed the doctor as she got in the elevator and went up two more floors. When the doors opened she headed straight down the hallway and made a right at the end. They pushed through a set of wooden double doors. The doctor stopped outside another set of doors, pumping a small amount of hand sanitizer from the dispenser before entering the NICU. She continued to one of the incubators in the middle the room where she stopped and grabbed the chart on the end.

Derek stood about a foot away, not sure what to do.

"You can come over." The doctor gave him a warm smile. "Come meet your daughter."

"My daughter?" Derek asked in belief.

"Yes. You have a beautiful little girl."

 _ *** Okay, so that ending may have been predictable and some of you may have seen it coming. The next chapter should bring a better explanation of what happened to Emily before the beginning of the story and a little more background to Derek and Emily's relationship. Leave me your reviews with all of your thoughts please! ***_


	2. Chapter 2

_*** An update! I am planning on continuing this story. I'm pretty attached to telling this story and I think that you guys seem interested in seeing how this progresses. Thank you for the reviews and follows I got. Read away and tell me what you all think! ***_

"She's really mine?" Derek asked the doctor in disbelief.

"Well you did say that you were the father of Ms. Prentiss's child, so I would say that yes, she is yours." The doctor was doing her best to keep it light hearted, as she knew how hard the entire situation was on the man.

Derek stared in utter disbelief at the baby. She was tiny, smaller than he ever could have imagined a baby to be. There was a small tube in her mouth, taped to her face to hold it in place. He could see the machine attached to the tube beeping rhythmically, helping her to breath. Every few minutes, her eyes would flutter, though they never opened all the way. He knew she would have brown eyes, both he and Emily did; he didn't need to see them. She already looked like her mama, like Emily. The moment he had first seen her, all Derek saw was Emily. And she was fighting just like her mama would have wanted, just like her mama was right now.

"When can I… how long does she have to be in this?" Derek gestured to the large plastic incubator that encases his daughter and was stopping him from being able to hold her.

"A while, I'm afraid." Dr. Andrews admitted to him. Derek had finally taken a second to read the name embroidered on her white lab coat. "Until she can keep up her own temperature up, she'll have to be in there. And because she was premature, she's much more susceptible to infections, so it's also safer for her to be more protected from any of the other babies and parents that will be in and out of here."

"So she can't be held?" Derek knew he wouldn't like the answer.

Dr. Andrews shook her head. "Not right now. She'll get to a point where she's more stable and we will be able to move her to and from the incubator, so that she can get some skin to skin contact with you and her mom."

Derek sighed. "If she ever gets to meet her."

"If there's one thing that I know, it's that mom's will do anything for their babies and I know that Ms. Prentiss and the doctors will do whatever it takes for her to meet her little girl."

"I hope you're right." Derek stared at his daughter as he spoke.

"I have a few rounds to make and then I will be back to check up on her. But if you need anything or have any more questions, just ask one of the nurses to come and find me, okay? I'm here for whatever the baby or you need."

Derek watched her walk out, but quickly turned his attention back to his daughter. She wiggled in the incubator, her arms and legs moving in all directions like she was trying to escape.

"I love you." Whispered the new dad.

"She's the most beautiful baby I have ever seen." The sound of Penelope Garcia's voice made Derek jump.

"What? How did you get up here?"

The blonde bit her lip mischievously. "I may or may not have told the nurse I was Emily's sister. Which I mean isn't really that far from the truth and I am the baby's aunt, so I wasn't completely lying."

"Oh Garcia…"

"You don't need to be alone right now and I'm not going to sit in my office or anywhere in that building twiddling my thumbs, when you and Emily and my new niece need me. So whether you want me here or not, I'm not leaving."

"I don't want you to leave." He said sincerely. "I'm glad you're here."

"She'll be okay."

"Everyone keeps telling me that, but I just don't know."

"Emily isn't going to give up on either of you that easily."

"I hope so because I can't do this without her."

"You know the first time Emily told me that you two were together, I always pictured you having these beautiful children and you having a daughter who would attract all the boys and drive you crazy."

"Really?" Derek cracked the smallest smile.

 _JJ and Penelope ambushed her while she washed her hands after going to the bathroom, knowing that none of the men on the team would be able to interrupt them._

 _"Okay, sweetheart, fess up. Who is the secret man?"_

 _Emily did her best to look shocked at the question Penelope asked, but she had been patiently waiting for her and JJ to find out that she was hiding her relationship from them._

 _"How do you know there is a secret man?"_

 _"You've blown off the last three invitations we've given you for girls' nights and you keep saying that you have to stay to work on paperwork and then instead you wait until we've all left and you sneak out." JJ explained their reasoning._

 _"You've been spying on me?"_

 _Penelope just shrugged at Emily. "We couldn't have you doing something dangerous or illegal."_

 _"Yes, because my plan in life is to lie about how much I work so that I can instead partake in criminal activity."_

 _"Okay, stop changing the subject." JJ stopped her. "Who is this man? Do we know him?"_

 _Emily thought for a moment. She and Derek had talked about telling the team. They had sat down and discussed their relationship and they decided that being together for eight months was long enough to know whether or not they were both committed. The team deserved to know and they knew that, but they never came to a conclusion about how to go about telling them._

 _"You two say anything to anyone else on the team and I will be doing something illegal to take you both out." Emily threatened._

 _"Nothing to no one." JJ put her right hand up, as if to swear to secrecy._

 _"Our lips are sealed." Penelope pretended to zip her lips shut._

 _"You do know him…" The brunette started._

 _"Rossi?!" Penelope guessed._

 _"Why would it be Rossi, Pen?" Emily wasn't sure if the guess was funny or just creepy._

 _"It's not a certain handsome man who likes to call everyone baby girl, is it?" JJ try to read Emily's reaction._

 _"I can guarantee to you that I do not let him call me baby girl, at least not to my face." Emily said, before realizing that she had just admitted to dating Derek Morgan._

 _"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Penelope squealed with delight. "You two will make the most beautiful babies."_

 _"Woah, woah. Slow your roll their woman." Emily was not even beginning to think about children._

 _"What? You can't tell me that you haven't pictured the beautiful babies you would make with that hunk of chocolate deliciousness."_

"Derek, she is not going to just give up, especially on this sweet baby girl. I know that it's not in her hands, that she isn't operating on herself or just magically going to heal herself, but I do believe that somewhere deep down she knows what she's fighting for and that is you and her daughter. Just don't give up before she has the chance to fight."

"What would I do without you?"

The blonde gave him a small smile in response to his question. "You would be lost, lover boy."

* * *

"We were gone for an hour, an hour and all of this happens." Tara Lewis stood over the dead man's body, taking in the sight of the blood that was now drying to the carpet.

"Nothing ever stops happening when you're on this team." Rossi came up beside her. "We shouldn't have left."

"Don't blame yourselves. The man passed his tests, he knew what he was doing when he got into the bureau. None of us were going to see this coming." Hotch stood in the doorway.

"But if we had been here, this wouldn't have happened. Emily wouldn't be… she wouldn't." Tara finally turned away from the body.

Rossi just shook his head, thinking about what he could have done, what should have happened that afternoon. "Where is Emily? Have you heard anything?"

"And the baby?" Tara added.

"Emily was still in surgery when JJ called half an hour ago and she hadn't heard anything from any of the doctors." Hotch answered.

"And the baby?" Tara urged. She knew how attached to their child Emily and Derek already were and if anything was to happen, they wouldn't be able to live with themselves.

Hotch's demeanor changed just slightly, it seemed lighter. "It was a girl. They had to do an emergency c-section and the baby will be in the NICU for a while. But Penelope said she looks just like Emily."

"A girl." Tara breathed a sigh of relief, but she quickly remembered that Emily was still fighting and would probably be for a while after the beating she received.

Tara, JJ, Rossi, and Penelope had left the bullpen to pick up lunch for the team; they had endless paperwork to finish after ending a case and they needed to get out. Derek had a meeting with some other agents about a case he had been helping with on the side and Aaron was with the FBI director. Emily, who had come back as second in command for the team, was in her office working on her own paperwork and had been unaware of the crazed agent who would come in moments after she was alone and change her life forever.

Agent Andy Edsall was a rookie, less than a year on the force when he walked into Agent Prentiss's office and took her future into his hands, quite literally. Without even a second to react after the man had entered her office, his hands were around her neck. Emily felt the bruises forming under his grasp and when he had thrown her to floor, making sure that her head hit the corner of her desk, she could feel the world around her dimming. She had fought to keep her eyes open. But he wasn't going to let her see the light of day and soon enough he was kicking her until he could hear her ribs crack. The pain was excruciating, but all Emily could do was cover her stomach with her hands, feeling the kicks of her unborn child. They were the most important; she would take whatever this man was going to do, if it meant that her baby would be okay.

It continued for what felt like hours, Emily held on with every bit of strength she had and if it hadn't been for Aaron Hotchner, she wouldn't have made it at all.

"Are you okay?" Rossi knew that killing someone was never easy, even if it was the only way to save someone else.

Hotch just shrugged. "I've done it before and Emily was more important than saving him."

"Yeah, but you didn't just kill him, you saw what he did to Emily, you saw him doing it. That's a different story."

"I'll be fine Dave." Hotch knew the man was just worried, but he was not worried about himself. "What matters is that we help Emily and Derek get through this."

Rossi took a deep breath. "It's not going to be easy. Especially not when Derek has to be there for both the baby and Emily. He's going to need us all to be there."

"Guys, I think I found something." Spencer stood in the doorway, looking anxious.

"What do you mean found something?" Questioned Tara.

"I think I found out why this happened, or at least who was behind it." Reid explained.

 _ *** A little cliffhanger. What did Reid find? You will all find out in the next chapter and there will also be an Emily update because we have to know what happens. Leave me all of your thoughts, pretty please! ***_


	3. Chapter 3

_*** Alright, we're back. I took my time with this chapter, hopefully it was worth it and you all like it. Thanks for reading! ***_

"What is it that you think you found Reid?" Hotch asked, as he was followed by Tara and Rossi to the agent's desk.

"I had Garcia run a background check on Edsall because I wanted to see if there was something else behind all of this because it felt too random to be random, you know? Like he was trying to make it seem like he flew off the handle, but he didn't actually, he had planned this."

"So what makes you think that?" Tara sat down on the edge of the desk.

Reid typed quickly, pulling up a file and then turned his laptop toward the rest of his team. "Look at the relationship."

"How?" Rossi questioned.

"That can't be possible. How could we have missed him?"

"Wait, missed what? Someone fill me in, please." Tara could tell by the way the men were talking that they were shocked.

"I just figured out that Andy Edsall is Ian Doyle's son." Reid looked to Tara.

She looked at him inquisitively. "Ian Doyle? That name sounds familiar."

"Emily worked with Doyle before she joined the BAU. She was undercover and their relationship turned into more than just an assignment for her. He was an arms dealer who had connections in every country and got away with it for years." Hotch explained.

"And?" Tara pushed him to continue, sensing that wasn't the whole story.

Hotch cleared his throat. "And Doyle resurfaced a few years ago. He stalked Emily and the rest of the team that was a part of the operation. He killed all those that he could and then came after Emily last and she walked into it, tired of looking over her shoulder. We got to her eventually, but not until after he had branded her, beaten her, and put a wood stake through her abdomen."

"She survived that?" The female agent let out a deep breath. "That's a lot."

"Well she sort of did. She was in surgery for hours, but eventually she pulled through. Only, we couldn't tell the team that she was still alive. JJ had just come back from the state department and she and I were the only ones who knew. We had to tell the team that she died and we flew Emily to Paris for her own safety."

"That was a lot for all of you to handle and then for her to come back and her to still be alive."

"Yeah, it wasn't the easiest decision for us, but it was the only thing that we could do to make sure that in the long run Emily was okay." Hotch still struggled with having to lie to his team about something so important and about somebody they all cared so much about.

"But we knew about one of Doyle's sons. Emily had done everything she could for him to make sure that he was taken care of and away from his father. She wanted him to have a normal life and she had given that to him. But then this; we never found anything to say that Doyle had another son." Rossi further explained to Tara.

"So even after everything you knew about him and everything that Emily knew about him, nothing ever led you to believe that there was a second son?"

Reid shook his head. "Doyle never left much of a trail or any trail really. Emily only found him because he found her and then to find them both after she was taken, we profiled him with not much to go off of. If he wanted to keep this other son a secret, he could."

"So now we know the connection, we just have to figure out why." Tara deciphered.

"Which will probably be the hardest part." Rossi said.

* * *

"When will we get to hold her? Because I need to snuggle that sweet baby sooner rather than later with everything that just happened."

Penelope stood next to Derek, she hadn't left his side since she got up to the NICU and she had no plans to, unless some news came about Emily.

"You and me both." Derek told her. "But it'll be a while, at least her doctor made it sound that way."

"I know that it's for her own good that she's in there, but don't you think they could do something better for these sweet babies. Like giving them their own rooms and coming up with a design that doesn't resemble a plastic cage. This room feels a little like a zoo where we all gather to watch the animals which are actually cute little humans who deserve better."

Derek just looked at her, wondering where she came up with the things that fell out of her mouth. "I think that maybe you're overthinking all of this. This is what's best for her, even if you think that's it like a zoo."

"It's a cute zoo and I know she has to be here, I was just putting out some of the suggestions I'll be leaving the hospital once she discharged."

"Of course you will."

"Are you Derek Morgan?" Derek turned on his heal to the sound of the nurse asking his name.

"I am, why?"

"A Jennifer Jareau told me that you were the person to speak to about Emily Prentiss."

"Is she okay? What's going on?"

"I can't tell you a lot; I don't know much. But if you come up with me her doctor will be able to tell you a lot more."

"Okay." But then Derek looked down at his little girl and he was torn. He didn't want to leave her side, but he also needed to know everything he could about Emily. "Pen, you'll stay with her?"

"Absolutely. For as long as you need me to." The technical analyst assured him.

Derek stayed a few steps behind the nurse, but followed her back the same way he had come. His heart was pounding and his palms were sweating as he rubbed his hands together nervously. He wanted to know everything and nothing all at the same time. What if there was nothing good to tell him? What if this was some elaborate way of telling him that she didn't make it?

"You must be Mr. Morgan." A man, at least ten years older than Derek, and wearing navy blue scrubs said to him when he came into view behind the nurse.

"Are you Emily's doctor?"

"I'm one of the doctors on Ms. Prentiss's case." He held his hand out for Derek to shake. "Dr. Hayes."

Derek shook his hand to be polite, but the last thing that he wanted to do was waste time with introductions.

"Let's go somewhere with a little more privacy." Dr. Hayes moved a few feet away toward an empty part of the ICU hallway.

"How is she?" Morgan pressed him for answers.

"Well, for everything that has happened, she's doing as well as can be expected. She has three broken ribs and a partially collapsed lung due to a puncture from her broken ribs. We did what we could for her, but we will have to go back in tomorrow and finish repairing the puncture. But that's probably the least of her problems."

Morgan's face dropped. "What do you mean?"

"The neurosurgeon and myself are most worried about the swelling in her brain. We haven't done anything about it, but we have to watch it very closely to make sure that it doesn't worsen."

"What happens if it gets worse?"

"It means that we will have to do surgery to remove a part of her skull. We can't do anything to stop or prevent the swelling, but by removing a piece of her skull it will relieve some of the pressure and then once the swelling goes down, if it goes down, we will put the piece back in its place."

"Okay…"

"There's just still a lot of unknown and much of it will just take time for us to figure out. I wish I could give you some more certain answers, but right now I have to be cautionary with you. This isn't an easy situation and I know that it's better to be honest than to sugar-coat it. She's doing well for what's happened and now we really just have to wait."

Derek nodded, appreciating the honesty, but wishing that the honest truth was more positive. "Am I allowed to see her?"

"Absolutely. Here I'll take you to her room." Dr. Hayes walked further down the hallway. It seemed to get quieter and quieter the further they went; it was almost eerie and it made Morgan uncomfortable. "So before you go in, we do have her sedated, basically she's in a medically induced coma. It's the best for her body and brain to try and heal itself. For some people it's hard to see someone they love with a tube down their throat and completely unresponsive, but I want you to be aware."

"Do I… Can I stay?"

"You can be in there with her as long as you like." Dr. Hayes assured him. "And Mr. Morgan?"

"Yes?"

"Congratulations on your daughter."

Derek couldn't stop the small smile that spread across his face at the mention of his little girl. "Thank you."

Morgan pushed open the door to Emily's room. As soon as he laid his eyes on her, he felt like he had been kicked in the stomach and he couldn't breathe.

She laid in the hospital bed, the white sheets tucked in around her, but her arms were out. She was covered in bruises, one on her cheek bone another on her forehead, both purple and blue and swollen. He could see the finger print marks on her neck from where she had been strangled and it made him cringe to think about what her poor body looked like under the blankets and hospital gown; it would take months for all of the marks to fade and years for her to recover from something so horrific. But he found himself looking at the swell of her stomach from where their daughter had been safely just hours earlier, where she still should have been.

 _"Okay, what's up Em?"_

 _She turned to look at Derek from where she stood in front of her pajama drawer, pretending to overthink what she was going to where to bed as a way to avoid his questions._

 _"What are you talking about?" She answered his question with a question._

 _He stared at her, trying to read her face. "You've been biting your nails all day and everyone who knows you knows that's your tell. And every time some tried to talk to you today, you barely noticed they even existed. Something is bothering you."_

 _"Are you sure that you want to do this with me?"_

 _"What does that even mean?" He was confused. "Do what with you?"_

 _"All of this, living together and being together. Are you sure that you want to do this? Because if you aren't I need to know now."_

 _"Why all of a sudden are you asking me this? Did I do something or say something that made you think that I wasn't serious because if I did you should have just told me."_

 _"Do you want this?" She pronounced every word clearly, seeking an actual answer._

 _"Tell me why you're asking, Emily."_

 _"I'm pregnant, Derek."_

 _The words hit him like a truck. Those two words were the last thing that he had been expecting to come out of her mouth._

 _"You're…"_

 _"I'm pregnant. I am with child. We are having a baby." She tried to rephrase the statement to get him to actually realize what she had said. "So, if you aren't sure that you want to be here with me, you need to let me know now."_

 _Derek got up from the bed and walked over to her._

 _"Emily Prentiss, I have never been more sure of anything in my life. You and I are meant to be here and I am not going anywhere. We are in this together, whether you like it or not."_

 _"Good." She kissed him._

 _He gently pressed his hand to her stomach, thinking about the little life that was now growing inside of her. "We're having a baby."_

 _"We're having a baby." She agreed._

 _"Just what the world needs, a combination of the two of us."_

 _"We're going to be way in over our heads aren't we?" Emily chuckled at the thought of what their child would be like._

 _"We certainly are." Derek kissed her again._

Derek stood at the side of her bed. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, but there was no reaction. Consciously, he knew there wouldn't be, but deep down he hoped for even the smallest squeeze back. "You should see her, Em, our daughter. She looks just like you and she's a little fighter; she's so strong. But she needs you, she really needs you and I need you. I can't do this without you, Em. We need you. I know it's selfish, but please, we need you here."

 _ *** Okay, so a little news on Emily and why this agent went crazy. More will be discovered about Agent Edsall and things will continue with Emily and the baby's conditions. Reviews are greatly appreciated! ***_


	4. Chapter 4

_*** An update! I'm going to try to keep this updated, as it's all the new Criminal Minds action we'll be getting for the next few months until the new season starts, which I'm so ready for after that season finale (but thank goodness Reid is back!). Anyway, here's the new chapter. I hope you like it. ***_

"Derek, you can't live here like this." JJ gestured around the room, to the empty cups of coffee and the couple of Chinese Food take-out containers that she had brought him the night before. "You have to take care of yourself."

"No, I have to be here for them." Derek didn't move his eyes from Emily.

"You will be absolutely no good to either of them when in a few weeks you haven't slept or showered. I know that you don't think you can leave them, but right now there isn't much you can do, except take care of yourself and come back when you've slept in your own bed and for more than two hours."

"JJ." Said Derek sternly, not thrilled with the blonde's advice.

JJ shook her head. "I don't care what you think. Either you'll listen to me now or realize in a week's time that I was right."

"What if something happens while I'm gone. What if they have to need to do some emergency procedure and I'm not here to give my consent and it means life or death for her?"

"Okay, you need to stop doing that to yourself." JJ sat down in the chair next to Morgan, trying to grab his attention. "Emily's doctors have told you that she is doing well and that she is still sedated for the healing process. And that baby is in good hands, she has been since she got here. You know that."

"I don't know."

"I will call Rossi and ask him to come stay here with Emily and I will go relieve Penelope with the baby. Neither one of them will be left alone. It's just a few hours. You'll be back before you know it."

Derek took a deep breath, looking to Emily whose chest rose and fell as a machine breathed for her. It was a worrisome thought for him, that both of the most important people in his life weren't even capable of breathing on their own and he was thinking about going home to a hot shower and a bed more comfortable than a hospital chair.

"I just don't know."

"I'm not going to force you, just remember that you're only human and you can only last for so long."

"I'll be right back." Derek pushed himself out of the chair, kissing Emily's cheek before he left. JJ watched as he walked out the door not sure if he meant he would be back in a few minutes or a few hours.

"You look like hell." Penelope stated matter-of-factly from her chair next to the baby's incubator when Derek walked into the NICU.

She had been with the baby and Emily, trading off with Derek for the last two days. However, she had been able to go home thanks to JJ and Tara, who happily would have helped Derek too, but had been turned down by the new dad.

"You sure know how to charm a guy." Derek scoffed.

"Hey, I am just speaking the truth and obviously JJ couldn't convince you to take yourself home and clean up."

Derek shook his head slightly, not surprised that Penelope was the real culprit behind pushing him to leave. "I know you guys think that it's for my own good, but I can barely pull myself away for coffee and food, let alone actually walk out those doors without them."

"I'm not saying that it will be easy or that I don't sympathize with you, but chocolate thunder," She used her favorite nickname for him to ease the tension of the conversation. "you have to take care of yourself too, in order to care for them. As much as you would like to change everything and save the day, you can only do so much. But what you can do is make sure that when they are ready for you to be there for them every second of every day, which will happen between Emily and mini Emily, that you have taken enough time for yourself to be one hundred percent for them."

"This is the hardest thing I have ever done." Derek wiped a hand over his tired face, letting Penelope's words sink in and realizing that she and JJ were right about him needing even the shortest amount of time to pull himself back together. He had thought the first time he was sure that he was going to lose Emily and the baby was bad, but it couldn't even begin to compare to right now.

 _"Where the hell is she?" Derek plowed the emergency room waiting area toward Hotch and Rossi._

 _"Hey!" Hotch put out a hand, a signal for him to stop. "You have to calm down. No one will let you back there acting like this._

 _Derek stared at him for a moment, then abided by his request and try to take a few deep breaths. "Where is she?"_

 _"She's down the hall, room 121." Rossi pointed in the general direction, as Derek took off._

 _He came crashing through her door, obviously startling Emily and JJ, who had ridden in the ambulance and stayed in the room with her. The panicked look on Derek's face made Emily want to laugh, the toughest man in the room was also the most scared, and JJ sympathized with the fear he must have been feeling since he got the call._

 _"Em…" Derek shuffled to the side of her bed, grabbing onto her hand, careful of the IV sticking out of vein in the top._

 _"That look on your face would convince anybody that you just lost the most important person in your life." She chuckled. "But it turns out I'm still here."_

 _Derek just rolled his eyes._

 _JJ stood up from where she had been sitting and excused herself. "I'm going to go find Hotch and Rossi. Do you need anything?"_

 _"No. Thanks, Jayje." The brunette turned her attention back to Derek. "I'm really sorry."_

 _"I thought I lost you, both of you."_

 _"You can't get rid of us that easily." Emily smiled softly, trying her best to get Derek to calm down, keeping her words lighthearted._

 _"Is this actually that funny to you?" Derek huffed._

 _Emily shook her head. "No it's not, but I need you to take it down a few notches. You're going to give yourself an ulcer if you keep this up. We are both fine, everything is good."_

 _"Everything isn't good. You're lying in a hospital bed right now, Emily."_

 _"For precautionary purposes. I hit my head when the truck hit us and I blacked out or I wouldn't even be here right now. We were barely going twenty five miles an hour and the truck had to be going even slower than that. All of this is completely overdramatic."_

 _"It isn't if it means I know where you are and that both of you are okay."_

 _"I hate to break it to you, but a few hours from now I will be back in the real world. You won't be able to keep me chained to a bed for the rest of this pregnancy, as much as you would like to."_

 _"You're saying none of this scared you?"_

 _"Derek, of course it did. But we can't spend the next six months of our lives waiting for something bad to happen, we will drive ourselves crazy. This was an unfortunate accident, mostly for the car, but everyone was fine. I can't let myself sit and worry about what will happen next. This is our jobs, stuff happens and when it does we'll deal with it, but not before then."_

 _Derek looked at her, the messy bun of hair on her head and the calmness about her. "When did you become the voice of reason?"_

 _"When I realized that I have a whole lifetime of worrying about our child to come, so I had to wait lose my mind over the little things for now."_

 _"Oh there's plenty of worrying to come." Derek finally gave her a smile._

"But you know that it will all be worth it. Emily and your daughter are worth this and when it's all said and done, none of this will matter. All that will matter is being home as a family."

"You promise to let me know if anything happens, as soon as it happens?" Questioned Derek.

"Derek Morgan, you know damn good and well you're the first person I will be calling." Penelope pointed out to him obviously. "Go home."

* * *

"So we're assuming that this has something to do with both Emily and Doyle right?" Tara sat at her desk, flipping through the files on Ian Doyle. "I mean, if they both weren't involved in this guy's plan, then why else would he choose to come into the FBI."

"We're assuming that." Hotch said.

"But we just can't figure out how he found out about Emily or how we missed him the first time we were going after Doyle." Rossi sipped his coffee, looking at his own files that covered his desk.

"Maybe it's about money." Reid offered.

Everyone turned to him, Hotch eyeing him curiously. "What do you mean? He wanted Emily's money?"

"No. Well maybe he did, but that would have just been an added bonus to what he could have gotten from Declan."

"The other son?" Tara clarified.

"Yes. When Doyle died, Emily made sure that all the money that was left went to Declan, for school, for living, for everything that he would have needed and more, it was a lot of money. But the only person who knew that Declan had the money was Emily. Edsall could have tried to take the money some way, but Emily would have noticed right away that something was going on. I know that she watched his accounts and all the monthly statements went to her."

Reid had been reading through file after file, researching all that he could about Edsall, Ian Doyle, Declan, and Emily's ties to all of them. He had racked every option he could think of and this was the only one that seemed logical.

"So by getting rid of Emily first, he could gain access to all the accounts and not have to worry about her finding out that the money was disappearing." Rossi summed up Reid's idea.

Hotch nodded, thinking about what he had heard. "That could make a lot a sense. Can you get Garcia to look into what Declan had and who was handling all the money for her?"

"Sure." Reid stood up from his chair. "I'll also have her check Edsall's financials."

"Have you heard anything about Emily?" Rossi set down his coffee, as Reid went to call Penelope at the hospital.

Tara shook her head. "Nothing since last night. JJ said nothing had changed, but that Emily was still doing as well as could be expected."

"What about Derek?" Rossi was just as concerned about the agent falling apart.

"JJ was worried about him, so was Penelope. They said he had been sitting in Emily's room or with the baby for the last two days."

"No one is going to be able to convince him to leave, unless he decides to. But we all know Derek and if someone doesn't make him decide to leave, he will be living in that hospital until they can both come home." Hotch said.

"Well if anyone is going to convince him it's Penelope Garcia." Tara assured him that the blonde would be on duty.

Rossi nodded. "You got that right."

* * *

Derek shot up, awakened from his sleep by the nightmare he was having. Every time he had tried to close his eyes since he had come home from the hospital, he would dream of Emily, of her being beaten by the bastard who had put her in the hospital. All he wanted was a couple hours of sleep, a little time to clear his head, and the only thing that he could do was think about Emily and his daughter.

Derek rubbed his face with his hand and got out of bed, done fighting sleep. He walked into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. Penelope was right, he looked like had been through hell, which if he was being honest with himself was what all that had happened felt like.

The ringing of his phone, made him jump.

He ran to the side table where he had kept his phone in case someone called. The caller ID flashed JJ across the screen.

"JJ what is it?"

"It's Emily."

Derek's heart felt like it hit the floor, like he had been kicked in the stomach and all the air had escaped him. The tone of her voice made him run through every horrible scenario that he could come up with. By the time the blonde agent spoke again, he had convinced himself that he had lost Emily entirely.

"You need to get down here." JJ said solemnly.

But he could barely make out her words over the sound of his own heavy breathing and his feet hitting the floor as he ran out of the door.

 _ *** Well, well, well, what do you think is going to have happened to Emily? I will try to update in a timely fashion so you all aren't waiting too long. For now, leave me with all of your thoughts, comments, criticisms, how you want the story to continue. All reviews are appreciated equally. ***_


	5. Chapter 5

_*** A nice little update for y'all! ***_

If his hands gripped the steering wheel any tighter, he would probably break it in half, but it was the only way he could control the car and his rage at the same time. He was beyond angry and not with anyone but himself. He had made the decision to leave, he had decided to shower and sleep, instead of stay at the hospital with the people who needed him most.

"Derek." JJ could tell from the moment she saw him that he was about to fly off the handle.

"No." Derek tried.

"No, you don't get to do that." JJ stepped in front of him, not backing down. "I know that you're pissed and probably at me, but if you go in there like that, you'll just get kicked back out. And you don't even know what's going on."

"I know it was bad enough that you had to call me down here."

"I never said that it was bad."

Derek softened, feeling slightly hopeful. "What do you mean?"

"They want to wake her up, they want to lessen her meds and see how she's doing."

"Really?"

JJ nodded, sensing the tension that Derek carried in with him dissipating. "They said all of her vitals were good and that they could always put her back on any of the meds that she may need, but for now she was strong enough to be awake."

Derek let the breath he didn't realize was holding out. He had spent the last half an hour thinking that he had lost the love of his life, that Emily had taken her last breath while he had been trying to sleep. But now it was the exact opposite, he was getting her back. Or at least he was on the path to having her back again.

"Is she… are they?" His words were choppy.

"The doctor is in the room with her right now. You can go in." JJ knew what he was trying to say.

Derek walked the couple of feet to Emily's room, taking a deep breath before he found it in himself to walk in.

"Okay, Emily. We're almost there, but you can't touch the tube okay?" The doctor was standing over her, doing his best to stop his patient from yanking out the breathing tube that her hands were aggressively reaching for.

Derek rushed to her side. Emily's head flew from looking at the doctor and he could see the relief in her eyes when she realized who he was. "You have to let them work, okay, Em? I know it's hard. I know. But you're so close, give them just a little longer and they'll have it out okay?"

She reached for his hand and he immediately grabbed it, squeezing it tightly in his own. Her eyes were on him, but she still looked tired, like she was having to force her eyes to stay open. Though now that she was staring at the man she loved, it had become much easier for her to stay alert. Derek put a hand to her forehead, sweeping her bangs away from eyes, never moving his eyes as to make sure that Emily knew he was not going anywhere.

"Okay, this will be a little uncomfortable." The doctor warned Emily, carefully placing two hands on the tube and pulling it out.

Emily flinched slightly as the tube came out of her mouth, it was sort of like sand paper against her dry throat. She began to cough, choking on the air she had inhaled too quickly.

"It's okay, it's okay." Derek watched as did her best to try and control her breathing, as if she was learning to do it again.

Emily calmed her breathing, still feeling as if they were shallower than they should be. She looked around the bright room at the unfamiliar faces of doctors and nurses, racking her brain for answers as to how she had ended up here. When her eyes finally landed on Derek, her brain flashed to the moment when the man had wrapped his hands around her neck, suddenly feeling like the air in the room was being sucked out and her breathing became uneven and labored again.

Derek could see the recognition in her eyes, the realization of what had happened. "Look at me Em, look at me. You're okay, you're okay. He's dead. He can't do anything. He's gone."

Emily shook her head.

"Yes, Em, yes. Hotch shot him. He is dead." He repeated the words, slowly and precisely.

Emily watched him, as if to see if something in his demeanor was saying that his words were untrue, but he was telling her exactly what happened.

"De… Derek." Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

"What is it?" He leaned over her, blocking her from seeing anyone else that in the room.

"The… the baby?" Instead of panic, Emily's face looked grief stricken like she was expecting the worst from her own question.

"The baby is fine, Em." Derek assured her before he was pushed aside by her doctor.

"We have to run a few cognitive tests and take her down for another CT scan."

"I can't be with her?" Derek questioned.

"It will be easier for her to finish the tests without any distractions. It will be hard enough as it is for her to focus for very long periods of time and these tests are necessary to see how she is progressing. And we don't allow anyone in during the CT anyway."

The doctor was respectful as he explained, but Derek didn't like the idea of leaving her after he had just gotten her back. "How long will it take?"

"It shouldn't be more than an hour, hour and a half at most." The doctor explained. "Someone will come get you as soon as she is back."

Derek stepped around the doctor to Emily again. "I will be right here when you get back okay?"

Emily nodded groggily. "Okay."

"I love you." He kissed her forehead and slowly walked out of the room.

* * *

"They woke her up." Hotch came down the ramp from his office, approaching Tara, Reid, and Rossi.

"Emily?" Reid asked hopefully, though he knew that there was no one else he could be referring to.

Aaron nodded. "JJ just called. She said Derek was with her, they have to go run a few more tests, so neither of them really know that much yet."

"Yeah, but being awake is a huge step." Tara pointed out. "That's more than she had yesterday and more than Derek had. Did JJ say if we could go see her yet? Or if she's really in the clear?"

"JJ really didn't have much to say. I don't think they will know much for a little while. With the extent of her injuries, I'm sure that she still has a lot ahead of her before anyone feels that she'll be one hundred percent again, or even close to it."

"And when are we supposed to tell her who Edsall is?" Rossi looked between his team members.

"Because she will be asking as soon as she is coherent enough." Reid said matter-of-factly.

 _"Do you want me to finish the reports later so you don't have to worry about it?" Hotch sat in Emily's office, going over what needed to be done before the week was over, given no cases came in._

 _Emily gave it some thought. "No, that's okay. I don't have that much more to get done today and I can start on them and finish it all by tomorrow."_

 _"You sure it's not too much trouble?"_

 _"Seriously?" Emily rolled her eyes. "You didn't ask me to come back and be your number two so that you could do everything for me. I'm pregnant Hotch, not incapable."_

 _"I know, I know. But I just thought that maybe you would like to lessen your case load a little more now as your due date gets closer."_

 _"I still have eight weeks until my due date, Hotch. If I slow down now that eight weeks will turn into eight years and I already feel like I've been pregnant for my whole life."_

 _"Alright, but don't come complaining to me in a few weeks when your doctor forces you to go on maternity leave." Hotch smirked._

 _Emily shook her head playfully, knowing that Hotch was probably right, at least about the being forced to go on maternity leave. At thirty-two weeks she was still traveling with the team, running point on some cases, and working hours that most normal people couldn't handle. She certainly wasn't going to give up her ability to do any of it any time soon and certainly no sooner than she had to._

 _"I'll be in my office if you need anything."_

 _Emily nodded, one hand rubbing soft circles on her stomach as the baby repeatedly kicked her._

 _She looked up briefly and saw as Hotch walk out and noticed the other agent walking in from the elevators. She recognized him from a few meetings, but she didn't even give him a second look before she returned to her work. Little did she know that she should have paid more attention as Andy Edsall made his way toward her office._

 _If it hadn't been for Hotch walking back into the bull pen at the very moment that he did, Emily wouldn't have survived._

 _In what felt like a millisecond it was all over. Hotch had pulled his gun, carefully and quietly as not to draw any attention to himself or the situation. Emily caught his eye just before she was thrown to the ground and he knew in that instant that he had to rely on his instincts. Without even a second thought the bullet had dislodged from the interior of his glock and was in Andy Edsall as he fell to the ground._

 _But he hadn't completely saved Emily, at least not as he had hoped. The damage had been done._

* * *

"Mr. Morgan?" One of Emily's many nurses gently tapped his shoulder.

"Is she back?"

"Yes, she's in her room and asking for you." Derek was walking away from her before she could even finish the sentence.

He walked into her room to find it cleared out except for one nurse, who left just as Derek came in. She smiled politely at him, closing the door softly behind her as she went.

"Derek." Emily's voice was still small, slightly strained.

"Hey." He gently swept her bangs out of her face again. "How are you feeling?"

She completely ignored his question. "How's the baby?"

"She's perfect, Em." Derek smiled at just the thought of their daughter. "She's little, only a little over four pounds, but she looks exactly like you, I mean exactly like you."

"She?" Emily stared at him in disbelief.

Derek nodded. "Yeah, we have a daughter."

Emily let the information settle and then asked, "Is she going to be okay?"

"She will be, but it's going to take some time. She's getting a little better every day, but she can't breathe or eat on her own and probably won't for a while the doctor said. But I swear she looks a little bit bigger every time I go see her and she was opening her eyes more today and she never stops moving her little arms and legs."

"I need to see her." Emily voice was even smaller now and the pained look on her face made Derek ache for her to be able to hold their baby.

He pulled out his phone, scrolling to his photos and opening the ones he had just taken while he waited for Emily's tests to finish. "I know it's not the same, not even close, but you can at least get a little look at her."

Derek held his phone up so that Emily could see the picture and within seconds the tears were streaming down her face, all of the emotions she was feeling pouring out of her. Anger for what that man had done to her, sheer disappointment in having her daughter's birth taken from her, and unmistakable sadness over missing the first days of the baby's life.

"I can't… she's really ours." Emily barely spit the words out between her sobs.

"She's ours, all ours." Derek wiped a few stray tears from Emily's cheeks. "And she knows how much you love her, how much we love her."

"I missed so much." That thought only made Emily cry harder.

Derek took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. "No. You do not get to blame yourself, you can't even begin to think that any of this was your fault. This was that bastards fault and he got what he deserved. He doesn't deserve any of our time and he isn't getting any more of it. The only people that matter are you and that baby."

 _ *** She's awake! I am going to start incorporating all the characters together, not having the team split by hospital and Quantico, but they will continue to work on the case and I promise the drama will continue, just because she's awake doesn't mean it's all rainbows and butterflies. Let me know what you thought! ***_


	6. Chapter 6

_*** I've been working on this chapter for far too long. I knew what I wanted to write, but I just couldn't get the words out. So finally, with a little work, here's a new chapter and I'm already working on the next. ***_

"Derek?"

The whisper woke him from his sleep. He looked around rubbing his eyes, as he tried to remember where he was. He finally landed on Emily, who's still tired eyes stared at him from where she laid in her bed.

"I'm here. I'm right here." Derek got up from the chair he had been tossing and turning in all night. "What do you need?"

"Can you get a nurse?" she shifted ever so slightly, but a searing pain went soaring through her body and the groan she let out was much louder than she had hoped it would be.

Derek flinched at the noise Emily made as he hit the nurse's call button, the little remote connected to the bed that laid just a few inches from her hand. Even then she couldn't reach for it and he could now see just how bad her pain was. "Do you need something more for the pain?"

She nodded.

"God, I am so sorry, Em." Derek sighed. "I am so sorry."

"Stop." Her voice still hoarse.

"No, I'm not blaming myself and either are you, but this… this is…"

"Shitty." Emily finished for him.

Derek couldn't help the small laugh that escaped at her answer. "Took the words right out of my mouth."

The door opened and the nurse walked in, catching the tail end of the exchange between the two and nodding her head just slightly, as if she couldn't say how much she agreed with what had just been said. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Okay." Emily answered the nurse, trying again to push herself up in bed, but another shocking pain ran through her and her body melted back into the bed. It nearly took the breath out of her, it was so excruciating.

"But I'm thinking we could use something for the pain?" The nurse caught on.

"Please." Sighed Emily.

"Alright, I will be right back with that. Anything else?"

Emily shook her head as best she could and the nurse retreated back into the hallway, only to return just a few minutes later. She put the medication in Emily's IV, telling her about all the same things that she had been told every time the drugs were administered and then, after explaining that the doctor would be in shortly for his morning rounds, left again.

Shortly was an understatement, as not even five minutes later the doctor walked in. "Good morning."

Derek and Emily didn't say anything in return, neither thrilled by the cheeriness this morning.

He could see that and got right down to business. "Things are looking pretty good. We are going to have to run a few more cognitive tests, but that probably won't be until tomorrow to check on your concussion and another scan for the brain swelling. I know that you just got your pain meds, but did you wake up this morning with a headache?"

"Not a headache, no." Emily told him. "But there was a lot of pressure, not painful, but uncomfortable."

"That is more than likely from the swelling, but not having a headache is a good sign. I want to take a quick look at your incision and check the bruising on your ribs. Did you have some pain there earlier?"

The doctor took his cold hands and gently lifted the side of Emily's hospital gown, just enough to be able to see where they had gone in to repair her partially collapsed lung. The incision was small and a whole lot less painful then the bruises across Emily's ribcage that were a dark black and blue. The sight of them made Derek feel pained, a sympathetic reaction.

"That seems to be healing well. Your ribs will take some time and honestly for the next six weeks or so you'll be sore."

"When am I going to be able to see the baby?" Emily knew that her doctor was doing his job, but she knew that she was in pain, she knew that she had a long recovery ahead of her. What she cared about now was her daughter.

The doctor sighed. "It's hard to say. You have to keep in mind that you can barely sit up in bed right now. I know how hard this is, but I don't want to try and sugar coat this process. It's going to take time before you are ready to see her and before she's ready to come to you. And that's not the answer you wanted, nor is it the answer I want to have to give you."

Emily's face dropped and she didn't say anything in response.

"Is there anything else we have to do this morning?" Derek interjected.

"No, that's it for now." The doctor understood that Emily now needed some time to process what she had been told. "I'll come by this afternoon, as will the neurologist."

Derek watched him walk out and then turned to Emily, who's eyes were down, focusing in the blankets that were laid over her. He wished he could help, that he could comfort her and tell her that he understood how hard it would be, but in reality he didn't know. He could guess, could predict what it would be like for Emily to have to wait to meet her own baby, but nothing he could do would be the same as what she was feeling.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I have to see her."

" _You're awfully jumpy there."_

 _Emily jumped ever so slightly just as Derek's words broke the silence they had been sitting in._

" _What? I'm fine." She tried to cover up how anxious she was, but she knew she hadn't done a very good job._

 _They were sitting in the waiting room of the OB and they were the first patients of the day, hoping that if they got an early enough appointment they would make it to work within a time that didn't seem suspicious or called for them to let know Hotch they would be late. If they were both late, everyone would suspect that something was up._

" _You really that nervous?"_

 _Emily looked to Derek. "Don't pretend like you aren't. You tried to hide it but I saw what you were searching on google last night. I should just buy you 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. You would probably read it before I did."_

" _Hey now, I was just trying to come in ready. I don't want to be one of those dads that just pretends they are ready. I want to actually be ready."_

" _You have plenty of time to be ready and I don't think it matters how much you read, there will still be plenty of things that we won't be ready for."_

" _Emily."_

 _They looked up in unison at the nurse calling her name. Emily grabbed the clipboard of paperwork she had filled out and Derek followed behind her, his hand resting on the small of her back._

 _The nurse did what nurses do and took Emily's blood pressure, went over a few things from the paperwork and a few new questions, drew blood for a few tests that Emily didn't really listen to the explanations for, and then left with an assurance that the doctor would be right in._

 _Which she was. "Good morning. I'm Dr. Davies."_

 _Both Emily and Derek shook her hand. After confirming her pregnancy with her regular doctor, Dr. Davies had been recommended to Emily. As much as she hated hearing it, Emily's age did play a role in her pregnancy and Dr. Davies was known for working with high risk pregnancies._

" _Let's get started and get you guys out of here."_

 _Most of the appointment was a blur. Derek realized that Emily was right, no matter how much he read, it was completely different to experience is first hand. And Emily started to figure out just what it was going to mean for her to be having a baby at this stage in life and with the career she had._

 _However, the moment that Dr. Davies started her first ultrasound and the grainy black and white image of their child showed up on the screen, neither Derek nor Emily could focus on anything else. She was only ten weeks along and the baby at this stage was basically a small blob, barely noticeable on the screen if it hadn't been pointed out to them. But it was the swishing sound of the heartbeat that made Emily's eyes water and had Derek reaching for her hand, squeezing it tightly._

" _Everything looks really good." Dr. Davies told them._

" _That's our baby." Emily said breathlessly, still focused on the screen, not on her doctor._

" _That it is." Dr. Davies turned the screen off. "I want to see you again in two weeks and we will go from there. Depending on how the rest of your pregnancy goes, I'll decide how far apart all of your appointments will be since you are technically high risk, that sometimes means that I'll have you come in more often."_

" _We're having a baby." Derek stared at the ultrasound pictures that had been printed out for them before they left the office._

" _I thought we had already figured that one out." Emily teased him._

 _He just rolled his eyes at her. "Don't pretend that you aren't thinking the exact same thing. It just seems so real now."_

" _It does." She admitted. "But that's a good thing."_

"You should go see her, Derek." Emily told him as she shifted in bed, her pain meds taking affect and making her feel like she move a little more.

Derek let out a deep breath. He knew that Emily wouldn't take no for an answer. "Are you sure?"

"She needs one of us there with her."

"Then I'm going to call JJ and Tara and see if they'll come be with you and I'll send Penelope down here."

"I need three people to babysit me while you're still in the same building? I don't think so."

"None of them can babysit you, they don't have medical degrees. I just thought you might want the company. Besides, all of them have been asking to see you and I was trying to give you a little time before you were ambushed by the girl squad."

Emily scoffed. "Ambushed is not the right word, okay? And why didn't you just tell me that? They could have come sooner."

"Alright, then I'll text them and Penelope will be down faster than you can blink, I'm sure."

"Good, go see our daughter."

He kissed her forehead, sent a message to Penelope, and walked out the door as confidently as he could, even though he was so torn about leaving Emily.

He made it barely ten steps out the door before he ran into someone in a white coat. It was Dr. Andrews, the baby's doctor and she had a somber look that overcame her face when she realized who was now standing in front of her.

"I was just coming to talk to you." Dr. Andrews said, as Derek registered the look on her face.

Derek didn't respond. He knew what it meant that Dr. Andrews had come to him. Since the baby had been admitted to the NICU, Derek saw the doctor when he was there to see the baby and she updated him then, as things were progressing and the baby was stabilizing. Not once had she come to him, not since he had been in the waiting room with JJ while Emily was in surgery.

"I think it would be best if we go sat down in the waiting room and talked."

Derek's heart sunk into his stomach and he felt nauseas as he followed the doctor.

 _ *** Alright, a little bit of a cliffhanger there. I really will try to update with the next chapter much quicker. For now, leave me your thoughts. ***_


	7. Chapter 7

"I know I mentioned to you before that we had noticed a small irregularity in the baby's heartbeat."

Dr. Andrews sat across from Derek, her elbows resting on her knees as she kept constant eye contact with the father. Her white lab coat was now draped over the arm of the chair; she had shed it before sitting down.

"We've been monitoring it carefully since then. It didn't seem to be something that needed our immediate attention. But today, we've noticed that she's been a little short of breath and when I was listening to her heart, the murmur was even more obvious than it had been."

"What does this mean?" Derek cut to the chase.

"It means that we are going to have to run some tests and one of our cardiologists is going to come check on her. I still don't want to scare you and I am not telling you that anything serious is wrong, it may still resolve itself. But I also want you to know exactly what is happening, just in case. There is a chance that if we find something, she will be in surgery before the end of the day."

It felt like his heart dropped ten feet when he heard the words surgery. Derek thought of his tiny baby girl, his little fighter and he just couldn't imagine a doctor cutting her open, putting their hands inside of her, whether it was necessary or not.

"Can I see her?"

"In a little bit." Dr. Anderson stood up. "I will come get you as soon as we know more."

Derek let her walk away, before he dropped his head into his hands. All of his thoughts were jumbled in his head, but one stood out clearly: how was he going to tell Emily what was happening to their daughter?

"Derek?"

He didn't have to look up to know that it was JJ.

"Derek, is everything okay?"

He lifted his head, his eyes filled with the tears he would not let fall.

"What's going on?" JJ took the same seat that had just been occupied by the doctor.

"She's just so little. She doesn't deserve this."

 _"Are we sure that we're ready to tell everyone?"_

 _Emily flittered around the kitchen of the house that she and Derek were sharing. She was trying to make sure that everything was absolutely perfect and had been for the last two hours._

 _"Well after the fight that you had to get your pants on this morning, I'm pretty sure that you're only seconds away from telling everyone without saying anything." Derek told her as he took a piece of cheese from the platter Emily had put together._

 _"No eating yet." She scolded him. "And just because my pants are a little tight doesn't mean that I can't wear loose shirts for the next few weeks."_

 _"You're not getting out of this. We need to do this. Besides, it's the team, you know that they will all be thrilled."_

 _"I know they will be; I'm not worried about that. I just don't want them thinking that I need to be protected or that this means I can't do my job. I just don't want this to change the dynamic of the team when it's not necessary."_

 _Derek gave her an inquisitive look. "You do know though that you will get to a point when you won't be able to chase unsubs in your vest, right?"_

 _"Don't remind me." She scoffed._

 _Glasses clinked as Emily offered wine to her guests and Morgan brought out the beer for the guys._

 _"No wine for you?" Tara asked, not suspiciously, but just curiously._

 _Emily shook her head. "Not yet."_

 _That's what happened when you worked with profilers, they noticed everything and they knew so much about their teammates that not even the slightest abnormality got past them. If Derek and Emily hadn't already decided to let the team in on their little secret, it would have only been a matter of time before they figured it out for themselves._

 _"You're not drinking?" JJ shot the follow up question at her._

 _Emily looked to Derek instead of answering. Her friends knew her too well, if they didn't make their announcement soon, someone else would do it for them._

 _"Look guys, I know we said that we wanted to have you all over since we haven't had any time together outside of the office. But," He paused, looking to Emily. "We have something we want to tell you."_

 _"Oh please, please, please tell me that you two are getting married. A BAU wedding would be so dreamy." Penelope was almost hoping up and down with excitement._

 _"Not quite yet." Derek broke it to her._

 _"I'm pregnant." Emily flung the words from her mouth without even thinking about it, like she had been holding them back for too long and they had to get out._

 _"Oh my goodness, that's even better!" Penelope engulfed Emily in a hug, squeezing her tightly. "You are going to have the most beautiful babies."_

 _"Okay, Penelope you're going to choke her and the baby if you don't let go." JJ grabbed Penelope's arm in attempt to loosen her grip._

 _"I'm sorry, I just got a little excited." Penelope put a hand on Emily's still very flat stomach. "I'm sorry to you too. Your aunt Penelope cannot wait to meet you."_

 _A cluster of congratulations and hugs followed; the team was thrilled for the couple. They knew what great parents they would be and adding to the team was always a good thing._

 _"To the newest member of our team and to Emily driving Derek nuts for the next nine months." Rossi lifted his glass in a toast._

 _"Hey!" Emily snapped playfully._

 _Derek laughed out loud at the joke. "That is very true, but very worth it." He smirked at Emily._

 _"Nice try, bud." Emily was shaking her head disapprovingly, but still smiling at him and their guests._

"Derek. You have to tell me what's wrong."

"She might have to have surgery."

"The baby?"

Derek nodded slowly. "It's her heart. They noticed it right away when she was born, but apparently it's getting worse. The doctor said they had tests to run, but if they find something she's in surgery today."

"Derek, I'm so sorry." JJ couldn't even try to imagine what Derek was feeling.

"How do I tell her?"

"What?"

"How do I tell Emily all of this? She's still just holding on right now. This will kill her."

"It's not going to be easy." JJ said. "But not knowing will be worse for her."

"I promised her, I promised that our daughter was okay, that she was going to be fine. And now I have to tell her that none of that is true because I don't know that she'll be okay."

"Don't do that to yourself, do not think of the worst right now. I know that's hard, but the doctor hasn't said for sure that anything is really wrong. If you go in there thinking the worst, Emily will know right away. She needs to know that there's a chance that her daughter is perfectly fine."

"It's Emily, she won't believe me."

"I know that, but if you at least try to tell yourself and her that it will be okay, it might at least calm her down a bit. Any and all reassurance you can scrape together will be worth it."

Derek replayed JJ's words over and over in his head. But no matter how many times they looped around and around, he couldn't convince himself that there was anyway Emily would believe a single thing he told her about the baby. It was her daughter, the daughter that she yet to hold or touch or even see with her own eyes, and she would be devastated to know what was happening to her. To know that no matter how much she wanted to she didn't even have the strength to get herself out of bed, let alone take care of her baby girl. It was like every parents' nightmare that Derek never thought he would have to experience.

With a shaking hand, he turned the knob on the door, walking in to see Penelope, JJ, and Tara surrounding Emily's bed, talking about something that was an effort to take Emily's mind off what was happening.

JJ looked up to Derek, knowing what he had come in for. "Let's give them a few minutes guys."

Tara and Penelope shared a glance, as they weren't on the same page as JJ and Derek, but they followed the suggestion anyway.

Emily watched them leave and could feel the change in the room. They way Derek wouldn't make eye contact with her, the way he was fidgeting with his hands which was his tell when he was trying to avoid something. She didn't need him to say anything because she already knew that whatever it was they needed to be alone for was going to be another upset in what was already horrible.

Derek finally looked up at her and Emily's face fell the moment that she saw his eyes.

"Please."

"Emily, I'm sorry."

"She needs a name."

"What?" Derek was confused.

"If anything happens, she doesn't even have a name yet. She deserves a name. We need to give that to her."

"Okay." Derek nodded, knowing that this was something she needed, something she felt was so important it came before finding out what was happening to their sweet little girl.

"Is… Can we…I want Tatum."

"Em, we don't have to do that."

"It's the right choice."

Derek had been the one during Emily's pregnancy that had kept an app on his phone that told him every week what size the baby was and how it was developing. Emily had teased him, thinking that it was absolutely ridiculous. One week the app had said that the baby was the size of a tater tot. Emily had literally laughed out loud when he told her, but since then Derek had been calling the baby tater as sort of joke. However, it seemed to stick when Emily found herself thinking that Tatum would be a cute name if they had a girl. It was Derek's turn to laugh at her for picking the name then, but with some thought both had agreed to keep it on their list of possibilities.

"You're sure Em?"

"I'm sure. Even if we never admitted it, we decided long before now."

"Tatum, then." Derek grabbed her hand in his and squeezed.

Emily felt the tears welling in her eyes, emotions heightened by the identity that her daughter had now and because of what was to come. "She has a name."

"I hate this Em. I hate this."

"Just tell me what it is."

 _ *** Drama, drama, drama. Just how I like it! ***_


	8. Chapter 8

_*** Nice little update for y'all! ***_

She heard the quiet tapping on the door, but Emily assumed that it was a nurse or one of her doctors coming to check on her after she had woken up from the nap she had taken.

She was alone in her room now because she had insisted that Derek go home for a few hours. He was exhausted and he needed to shower and change into some clean clothes. There was nothing he needed to be doing for Emily or Tatum right then and she hated to see him killing himself to be with them twenty-four hours a day, even if he was doing it out of love.

"Come in." Emily called from her bed, pushing the buttons on the side to sit herself up.

"Hey you up for us?"

Emily could see that it was Tara, JJ, and Penelope on the other side of the door. But JJ was the one peaking her head into ask. "Of course. You don't have to ask."

The team had been gone for the last few days on a case and as much as Emily loved Derek she had missed having the company of the women from the team, as well as Hotch, Rossi, and Reid.

"Well we need to make sure we aren't interrupting your beauty sleep." Penelope chimed. "But we do come with your favorite latte as a nice little treat."

She handed it to Emily, who gripped the warm cup. Even holding things had been a struggle right after she had woken up, but all of her strength was slowly coming back. "It's decaf though isn't it?"

"Unfortunately." Confirmed Tara.

"That's okay. I know it's for my own good." She sipped at the almond milk hazelnut latte.

"So what's the latest?" JJ grabbed a chair and pulled it over to the bed.

"And where's chocolate thunder?" Penelope plopped down on the vinyl couch across from the bed next to Tara.

"I told him to go home. He needed to shower and get some sleep somewhere other than that couch. He looked worse than I do and that's saying something from where I'm sitting right now."

"So who's with the baby?" JJ asked.

Since she had been born someone had been with Tatum, at her side. Both parents refused to let her be left alone, so everyone had taken turns. When the team left for the case, Penelope brought her computer and did her best to work from the NICU as much as she could, trading off with Derek when she needed to. The technical analyst was a godsend for the mom and dad and she loved her niece so much that she would do anything for her.

"Derek's mom actually."

"She's here? When did she get here?" Questioned Tara.

"Just this morning. Derek went to pick her up before he went home and she insisted on coming right here to see her granddaughter. I was asleep when they got back so I haven't seen her yet."

"Are you worried about seeing her?" Penelope wasn't sure that worried was the right word.

"A little. I just feel like I haven't gotten a chance to know her much yet and now all of this is happening. I just don't want her to think that Derek is making a mistake being involved with me or that what's happened is too much for him."

"I don't think she would ever think that, Em." JJ told her. "It's not like either of you asked for this to happen. I'm sure that she just wants to do what she can to help her son and her granddaughter and you."

"I just can't shake this feeling of guilt." Emily stared down at her cup of coffee.

The women all looked at each other. "What guilt?"

"This guilt that all of this is my fault. I was in my office when I was because I had decided not to go to my meeting. And Derek had to see me the way that he did. And Tatum. She deserved to be safe and protected for another two months before she had to face the world and now she's lying in an incubator recovering from surgery because I wasn't able to do my job as her mother. Every time I think about where we are as a family, all I can tell myself is that I failed us and that we're here because of my choices."

"Oh Em." The sympathy was dripping from JJ's voice.

"I know, I know. It probably sounds ridiculous. But no matter what any of you say or what Derek tells me, I can't stop myself from thinking of the what ifs." Her voice broke at the end and she could feel the tears well up in her eyes.

"Look I know that you've probably already heard this, but none of this is your fault. And I'm not going to say that you need to stop right now or that you'll just suddenly get over it because honestly that won't help you. But just trust that none of us, none of the guys, and especially Derek or his mother think that any of what has happened can be blamed on you."

"I know that. I just haven't quite gotten to the point of believing it."

"You will, Em. And until then we are here to remind you that we love you and Derek and most of all that sweet baby girl of yours." Penelope assured her.

JJ shifted in her seat, unsure of whether or not she wanted to ask her question, but she figured that it was Emily and she was among friends. "So speaking of Tatum, have they told you yet when you'll get to see her."

"No." Her simple one-word answer said more about how upset she was that anything she could have said.

That question was weighing heavily on Emily when Derek returned that afternoon. The girls had left, Tara going to get some work done and JJ and Penelope going to see Tatum and say hello to Derek's mom. As soon as he walked into her room, he could tell that something had upset her. She had been doing her best to stay positive, knowing that she was improving and that meant she would see her little girl, but being asked about it had only made her realize that still after over a week and a half of being in the hospital the only way she had seen her daughter was in pictures on everyone's phones.

"You okay?" Derek leaned in for a kiss, but only landed on Emily's cheek as she looked away. "Okay, what's up Em?"

"I just want to see her." Her voice was small.

Derek sighed. She had been doing her best to hide how she was feeling, that was Emily's specialty. However, when it came to her daughter, Emily found herself struggling to hide just how hard their separation was.

"Em, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. I just…" She couldn't finish her sentence before her room door opened again.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." It was Dr. Hayes followed by Dr. Andrews.

 _"You sure you're okay?" Derek's hand rested against Emily's lower back as they walked into the bullpen._

 _She pulled away slightly, trying not to draw any attention to them and their relationship as the passing agents were already staring at her expanding waistline. "If I took the day off every time that I didn't sleep much during this pregnancy, I would have quit my job already."_

 _"I know, I know." Derek said. "But you haven't also spent all night throwing up on top of our child using you like a human punching bag."_

 _It had been a rough one to say the least. Emily was used to the baby moving constantly at this point, she was twenty-nine weeks, that wasn't new. But she hadn't spent that much time heaving into the toilet since her the beginning of her second trimester._

 _"I'll live. I promise."_

 _"You'll live if you continue to drink your water like the doctor said."_

 _"Yes, nurse." Emily rolled her eyes at him._

 _"You're very funny. When you don't listen to me and you get dehydrated, you won't think that I'm being ridiculous." Derek squawked at Emily as she walked to her office._

 _"Yes I will." She said back to him without even looking over her shoulder._

 _She returned a few minutes later, pictures in one hand and her water bottle in the other. The rest of the team was slowly trickling in as they were taking the day for a late start and mostly paperwork if they didn't get a case._

 _"Okay, I am here. Where are the latest photos of my new niece or nephew? Or maybe you both came to your senses and found out which one they are?" Penelope came barreling through the door._

 _Emily handed her the black and white ultrasound photos from their appointment that morning. "There you are and no we didn't find out, PG."_

 _"Well it was worth a shot." Penelope chided._

 _"And everything is okay?" Asked JJ, as she looked Penelope's shoulder._

 _"Yep, all is normal. Another at least eight weeks until I no longer look like a beach ball with arms."_

 _"Eight weeks is a long time." Penelope pouted._

 _"I'm sure it'll fly by Pen." Derek told her._

 _Little did any of them know how soon it would really be until they met their newest family member._

"Is there something wrong?" Derek asked the doctors.

"Just the opposite actually." Dr. Andrews had a slight smile on her face.

Dr. Hayes grabbed Emily's chart that was hanging on the end, reviewing that had been updated earlier.

Derek looked to Emily who was staring at him, wondering why the doctors had come in if they were only going to look at her chart and not actually tell them why they were there.

"From what I'm seeing here, it looks like the fever you had yesterday is gone and you've made a lot of progress in the last few days."

Emily just stared at Dr. Hayes. "What does that mean?"

"It means that as long as you feel up to it, we think that you're ready for a short trip out of this room." Dr. Andrews smile widened.

Emily started to make sense of what the doctor was saying. "Really? I can go see her?"

"Yes you can." Dr. Hayes confirmed. "It won't be for too long, you'll see that your stamina isn't the same, but I know how long you've been waiting and that any time is better than none."

"Yes, it is." Derek couldn't hide his excitement.

After helping her to take a quick shower and get changed into something other than a hospital gown, JJ had brought her some new pajamas and sweats for when she would need them, Emily sat down in the wheelchair she was forced to take. At first she had fought it, but after taking her shower and being up long enough to change clothes she realized that she would never make to her daughter on her own.

Derek had the privilege of pushing her, so long as he had her back to her room in hour. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Derek, stop worrying. I'm not broken, okay?"

"I just don't want you to overdo it."

"I will overdo it if it means that I get to see my baby. So good luck trying to stop me."

Derek chuckled. "I am the one pushing you. I can turn this wheelchair around if I have to."

"You wouldn't dare."

The NICU was quiet when they entered. A few other parents and nurses around, but Emily found herself only searching for her own little girl. Each incubator was labeled with the baby's names and when hers finally landed on Tatum's she immediately noticed the mistake.

"Her last name is wrong." Emily said to Derek.

"What?" He was confused.

Derek's mom, who had been patiently waiting for his son and the mother of her granddaughter to arrive after Derek texted her with the news, couldn't help but smile because she knew exactly what Emily meant.

"It says Prentiss. It should say Morgan." Explained Emily.

"Really?" He sounded surprised.

Emily turned to look up at him. "Of course."

"Here, Emily. Come take my seat." Fran Morgan stood up and assisted Derek in helping Emily to move from the wheelchair to the chair.

The moment she sat down, the world around her became background noise and the only thing she could see was her daughter. Her dark hair was slightly unruly, resembling her mother's natural waves, and was peeking out through her little hat. Her eyes weren't open all the way, but she could see that they were brown just like her own and Derek's. She was much smaller than Emily could have imagined, but her arms and legs never stopped wiggling and the small scar from her surgery on her chest was barely noticeable. She was a little fighter and Emily couldn't have loved her more.

"Hi Tatum. Hi baby. I'm your mama."

 _ *** A little fluffy, but also lots of good things. Next chapter I'll explain more of what happened to Tatum and her surgery and we'll also explore the relationships with Fran, Derek's mom. Let me know what you thought or maybe what you want to see more of in the reviews! ***_


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